actual russian joke...

…lenin was kneeling by a river one morning, shaving with an old-fashioned cut-throat razor. not far away a young boy stood watching him. lenin moved the razor slowly up and down his face and the boy stared, absolutely fascinated. this went on for a while: lenin kept shaving with his razor, and the boy kept watching him. up and down, up and down. and still, lenin did not slice the boy’s head off.